And if you chose to walk away, I'd still be right here waiting.

:(

2009-10-24T03:02:35Z

Cheese died Wednesday I think and King Leonidus died yesterday. Death is on a cat killing spree I guess.
I figured out Leonidus died today. As, soon as I figured it out I started crying. I haven't checked up on him since school started, I've been so busy. It made me feel horrible. I loved him. :(
After that I just got super sad. Everything started coming to me. Then my mom and kevin did the usual talk about me even though I can hear them in the next room, which makes me so depressed. She's my mom. I shouldn't have to hear that come out of her mouth.
Plus, My mom said she had no money, which means I might not be able to get a senior dress up day outfit which means I'll be a loser.
Basically, I had a nervous break down and just started crying. Sadly enough Blaine was there too, I haven't ever done that in front of him before. I don't think he realized I was crying but he just held me for like 20 minutes just telling me he loved me.

I don't know what I would do without him. I don't think I could live, literally.

Homecoming

2009-10-04T18:23:54Z

Was amazing! The best dance I've ever been to. I'm usually shy and don't dance or anything. But I actually danced and had a really good time.
Before hand Me, Anthony, Katie, Andy, Renee, Kyle, kelly, shiloh And Blaine Went to taco bell and andy payed for all of us. He spent like 60 dollars on all of us. lmao.
I was gonna wear my black and white dress but my mom offered to buy me a new dress and I couldn't pass that up. I got a orange one that's all hippy dippie. My mom didn't like it. But I loved it.
I just had a really good time.
Carly was there! Omfg. I missed her a lot.
And Lincoln C. was there with his girlfriend.
But Me, Blaine, Kyle, Matt, Matt's girlfriend (forget her name), Kelly, Shiloh, Carly, Andy, Anthony all took a group picture and carly payed for it. SO group picture will be up in a few weeks.

:):)

Writer's Block: Who's your BFF?

2009-10-04T18:15:15Z

Who is your oldest friend (i.e., the friend you have known the longest)? How often do you see or talk to each other? Do your close friends tend to stay the same year after year or change over time?

View 1419 Answers

My oldest friend is Cully Stocker. I've known her ever since I was 7. We don't talk to each other much or see her much. But she is still my bestest friend ever. No matter how much time we don't spend together.
Overall my close friends as of the past 4 years has changed. I've gained some and lost some. As for the lost ones Who cares. As for the ones I gained Cheers.

:)

2009-09-24T03:15:17Z

Blaine says (11:04 PM):
Night baby, I will always love you, forever.
shley. says (11:05 PM):
Night. I will always love you forever as well

:):)

:]

2009-09-08T21:42:46Z

I've been posting my doings and thoughts lately on my deivant art account instead of here. Mainly because My friends check their deviant art daily.
Anywho. I'm fine and dandy. Had 2 great weekends in a row.

I'm loving school. It's been pretty good. Hopefully it will stay that way and be the best year yet. Everyone else seems conent which is odd. That usually doesn't happen. But, nevertheless I'm thankful for it.

Blaine right before he left for jujistu practice asked me what my hopes, dreams, goals were. I thought he was kidding so I said What's yours? He said Spending a long happy life with me. Perhaps a few kids. Nice house. Nice car. And a hot pink Nintendo DSI. That made me giggle. His mom ordered him one yesterday. Lucky bitch!

Weird.

2009-08-28T01:02:18Z

Ashley completed the quiz "What Are You Hiding From Yourself?" with the result Sadness.

You don't like being sad so you hide it when you are from others and yourself. You enjoy being happy and up-beat, you don't like showing when you're unha...ppy. But at times the simplest thing can make you cry becuse you hold it in too long..

As emo as it sounds it very true. I won't cry in front of anyone. I may act sad but Not as sad as I ever feel. And sometime the most littlest things makes me sad randomly. It's weird. Blaine has to literally beg me to tell him what's wrong with me.

First day of school?

2009-08-27T02:33:16Z

Was okay. Could have been better but okay. I was fine and dandy but then I noticed that Brittany was there so I just about left school and not looked back. But After being emo for about 20 minutes, I sucked it up and grew happy again.

1st Period- Environmental Science- At first I thought GOOD GOD! This is FUCKING HORRIBLE! (you see I took it last year but I failed it. I was the only person That had to retake it from my previous class so I felt like a complete failure and felt like it wasn't fair). But then I thought it wasn't going to be THAT bad. Because I've done it all before. I still had my papers I could just copy them. But I swore to never see that lady again last year because she was a horrible teacher. (Btw lady= Mrs. Moore the teacher of the class)
2nd Period- Choir- I love Choir. It wasn't that bad. But It was full of either people that have never taken Choir in their life or freshmen. Which means we will never go to State Competion because we would be that bad. I want to go!
3rd- Clay- Went great. I have Caitlynn, Addie, And Bethany in there.
4th- Alegbra 2- Went okay.
5th- Lunch- Love it!

Ugh. I don't feel like writing more at the moment. It's 10:32 am. I have to wake up at 5:30 PM for school.
I've had a long, tired, day.
I'll finish it some other time. I'm switching my scedule anyways. SO oh well!

I think

2009-08-22T19:40:13Z

I am going to become a nurse. It's the thing that I keep on going back to. I love helping people. And I love cheering people up. So, A nurse just seems perfect. It takes 2 years. Which is short. I want something that doesn't take that long. So it's perfect. Plus My mom is a nurses aid which is kinda like a nurse. You just don't have a actual degree. You are just certified to do stuff like a nurse. Or I could just become a nurses aid like my mom.
Point is. I think that's what I am going to do. It won't be easy consider how horrible my memory is and I'll be required to remember tons of medical terms and things. But OH WELL. Nursing also pays really good. And it's a job that is always in high demand. So I would never be out of a job. AND! You can find a Nurse Program just about anywhere.

On the side Note. School Starts Wednesday. I'm really excited because I get to hang out with everyone again. But I'm also sad because I know it's my last year. I'll make it though. I have some wonderful friends, family and Of course Blaine Wyler. That's all I need.

I have to go school shopping soon. I already got a Within Temptation T-shirt and A Day to Remember T-shirt. <3 Fuck yeah!
And I got some cool shoes with guitars on them.

I am not looking forward to waking up at 6 for school. ;[

School

2009-08-18T00:11:41Z

Starts in 12 days and as of right now I'm scared shitless.

My last year.

Everyone I know will go off to college somewhere wheither it be close or far away. Either way I don't think there will be time for "fun and games"

It really scares me. Nothing will be the same anymore.

I'll have to pick a college and go to it. Get a job and be a grown up.

Shit. :(

=]

2009-08-14T04:07:56Z

Life has been good recently. Nothing to complain about. :)

School starts the 26th. Last year of school! I'll finally be done.

12 years of school is way to much. :(

Tonight I'm "house sitting" Blaine's house. ;D

*edit*

He said he got me something from bath and body works while they were on their trip :D

Plus I just found out something else.

Life is SUPER GOOD now.

Bleh.

2009-07-04T02:33:48Z

I've got some pretty sucky friends. :[

Thanks for talking to me at least once in a while and asking me to do things. Oh wait, you don't.

:]

2009-06-30T15:03:40Z

I saw Transformers, it was fucking amazing.
And my birthday was great.
:D

I'm going to marry that boy....

Next week

2009-06-20T18:58:18Z

Will be amazing.
Transformers comes out for one thing. I freaking looooooooooove transformers.
I'll be going on a two day trip with Blaine, his mom and grandma where we will go to New Port Aquarium and possibly a water park.
AND! My birthday is next Saturday!! In which I will have a party. Plus I will literally be able to do anything I want. My mom has been doing the "Your not 18 yet you can't do what you want." I'm gonna do EVERYTHING I want once it's Saturday and rub it in her FACE.

Also I might get my lip pierced and I might get another tattoo ;o

Life=greatness.

So.

2009-06-11T15:09:14Z

I'm gonna try my hardest to ignore her. I'm gonna delete her off msn. And I asked Blaine to delete her off his facebook.

So, I shouldn't have to see or hear about her.
Even if I do. I will try to take it 10x better than I have been.

He's mine not hers. No matter how much she wishes something different.

And that's all that matters.

[Btw, Thanks Badge :)]

AHH!

2009-06-06T22:15:54Z

No more School. Summer Vacation :D!

Basically, I'm a senior! Holy Shat.

I'm not ready for the real world. I'm scared. I still have no idea what I want to do.

And I need a job.

Growing up is tough. ;(

If

2009-05-28T23:15:59Z

Next year is anything like this then I'm gonna drop out of High School and become a hooker or something.

If someone (or someones) was talking about you but at the same time being very nice to you, what would you do?
There is ENOUGH drama as there is. Plus, I don't want to mess things up even more because that's what It seems that's All I have done.

I'm not mean. I haven't lost my morals or standards. And I didn't STEAL him away from her. I am beyond tired of hearing that. He came to ME and told me he liked me. What was I suppoesed to do? Lie and say I didn't like him back even though I really did. I have for years. I was tired of keeping my mouth shut.

And I'm sorry, no matter WHAT you say I am NOT gonna break up with him. No matter how much you talk about, or how much you despise him. Sorry, Honey that isn't gonna happen just because you simply don't like him. All you should care about is my happiness not who I'm dating. And Everytime I tell you about him you say every freakin time "You should just break up with him" That's not gonna fix anything. Plus, If you haven't noticed I love him quite a lot. Otherwise I would have broke up with him a long time ago.

So....If you think I'm mean, I lost my Morals and My standards then don't even talk to me. You are wasting both of our time.
I'm as NICE as can be to you. Even though I KNOW you are talking about me. So who's the mean one? And Who's lost their morals?

Sorry, I'm happy.

"Looking in your eyes; I couldn't find a safer place even if I tried."

Oh and Me and Blaine will be going out for 4 months Tomorrow ^_^

Summer better be good.

Update.

2009-04-23T02:02:14Z

Part 1
I finally admit that I have changed. I didn't really notice till recently.
It's like I'm actually living life now. I take life one day at a time. Which I could never do before.
I am now what I always aimed to me. I love it.
And if someone else does not? Who cares.

Part 2
My dad is in the hospital. He has a fracture in his skull. And They think he has major brain damage. They can't tell because his brain is really swollen. But he's not talking and not eating. Plus, he's completely out of it. They are thinking about surgery. Sadly, It's not hitting me yet or something. Because It only made me upset when I first heard about it. And Tonight When my mom told me he might have brain damage. Otherwise, I'm not really upset about it. Which makes me feel like a horrible person, he is my dad afterall. But He's never been there for me. He's never been a real dad. I clearly have a heart of ice.

Part 3
Oh, and Blaine Wyler, I am madly in love with you.

Life Equals

2009-04-10T20:55:06Z

The greatest everrrrrrrrr.

<33

2009-03-28T15:20:52Z

You're the direction I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on, you tell me to go
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around
And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
'Cause you have that effect on me, you do

Everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

Months going strong now, and no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal
Always by my side
Meant to be together
Meant for no one but each other
You love me, I love you harder so

Everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hands
So please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal a heart
As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine

Oh and everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hands
So please, just take my hand.

W00t

2009-03-19T00:42:29Z

Yay!

I'm out of the emo stage.

Fuck it all.

2009-03-07T20:09:13Z

Fuck school.
Fuck everyone.

Fuck everything.

I'm stuck.

And It seems I can't get out.

So

2009-01-12T23:48:44Z

I got my phone turned back on plus I got a Ipod touch.

Today I went to Brittany's right after school and went sledding with Her and Blaine ^_^

I really needed something like that. It felt really good.

Oh, this morning I saw That Renee was crying so I laughed my ass off and almost choked.

Apparently some guy stood her up.
God is finally striking her down.

Oh and apparently she does weed now.

She doesn't need to lose anymore brain cells.

:]

Christmas break.

2008-12-20T18:21:27Z

Sooo, Starting Yesterday was Christmas break and I don't have to go back to school till Jan. 6th? I think it is. Who cares, as long as I'm out. I'm getting tired of it already. It's not really that bad. I actually enjoy it, it just gets boring and tiresome.

I may or may not go to my grandmothers this weeked to acquire her Christmas Presents. Plus my dads present and maybe my brother and his girlfriend. Which is odd, Jay nor his Girlfriend never buys us stuff. She even asked me herself what I wanted. Weiiird!

Addie got me a present, it was a cute little shirt. I was surprised she got me anything.
And Bethany's family got me a sweatshirt plus she ordered me something off the internet for me.
I'm not used to getting stuff from all of these people!

My mom wants to get me The Dark Knight but noone has it. Apparently it sold that well.
She asked if I wanted any video games and I was just like Nah, I don't really like them anymore. I kinda grew up.
All the new ones are stupid.
I think we are getting a Xbox 360 for christmas too. I'll just play it once the new Kingdom Hearts when they come out. Otherwise I'm not gonna play it.
Just like our Wii. Don't play it either. Not really interested in stuff like that anymore.

Which makes me conclude that I've changed a bunch this year. I more quieter, I don't really like to talk anymore. Besides like Bethany and that's it. But I am alot more out going. By Golly I Speak my mind and I don't care how it effects you. I don't care what anyone thinks anymore either. Before I just cared about certain people's opinion, now I don't care about anyones. Suppoes none of this is a bad thing, I kinda like it. It's just weird.

I would like to concetrate on music and photography now. I have a solo in Choir and I'm getting a camera for Christmas. Even though I have like three. Their old I want a new one. =]

The End.

I've

2008-11-26T03:04:37Z

Been pretty good here recently. After Tomorow, no more school till Tuesday because of Thanksgiving break. Man, I love Thanksgving. I'm gonna get fat. Not really I can eat all I want and lose a pound. >_>

Speaking of that My weight has went down even more. I know I really shouldn't complain and be thankful I'm a skinny bitch!

ksdlfjslfldskjflksfj

Algebra 2= Hell. I hate Matrices. Actually, I'm quite good at it and I understand it, it's just to much work. I take up like a page and a half for one problem. That's just stupid!

I'm about to drop out of school and become a hooker. All hooker's need to be able to do is count monies. And I sure do know how to count monies.

Just kidinnnnnnnnnnng.

I'm tired. :(

w00t

2008-11-18T13:12:38Z

Today was a two hour delay. So school starts at 9:20am instead of 7:20am =DDD

Didn't go back to sleep though. Usually if I wake up I'm awake there's no going back to sleep. Oh well.

I have to leave in about 40 minutes.

I'm trying to debate on whether to get a Cappuccino or not. Wonder if I should just save my money for later in the month when it's colder =/

Fuck it, I'll get it.

I tried to do my environmental science, didn't get it. So I'm just gonna copy off of Bethany ;]